Listening

I have a free download available on my site, in which I talk about extroverted listening - meaning listening to what’s going on around you, as opposed to listening to your own thoughts. It’s important to make this distinction, because we are so unused to listening as a regular practice. If I suddenly say to you, “Listen!” you’re likely to focus your attention on your ears. But it will be several seconds, if not minutes, before you really start to listen to your surroundings, leaving behind self consciousness.

For the most part, business can’t afford to listen that deeply. Time is money, and that kind of attention takes too long. Doctors and ministers may be funded for such activities, but commerce is not.

Yet isn’t it true that the times when you have listened most attentively are the most informative moments in your experience? And how often, after a business transaction or meeting do you wish you had listened more carefully?

Certainly for me, listening is an ongoing discipline. In initial consults with clients, for example, I can never seem to listen well enough. Though I have gotten heaps better at it over the years, the quiet mirror-mind of an excellent listener ever escapes me.

Still, the learning from listening is the best learning. And the more listening, the more learning.

Are leaders also good listeners? Perhaps long-lasting leaders are. We can be sure they’re keenly hearing the call of some command.

And what about terrible listeners – you’ve encountered them, right? They’re in your face while they talk, and then when you speak they get busy doing something else.

Listening defines reputation in a big way.

Of course, I’m not advocating for keeping mum all the time. I’m way too outspoken for that. But maybe now, especially, when the web lets us all have a voice, pausing to listen before speaking may be more critical than we might naturally think.

And it continues to astound me, despite strong intent and careful preparation, how I fail to listen enough. The required understanding is enormous.

Ah well, no reason to quit trying.